We scheduled the surgery for March 20th, although they had to change the date 3 times giving me 1 month and a half to process it internally and prepare myself psychical and emotionally.
During that period I walked along a road full of doubts and fears. I had to get ready for the most radical alternative and get to be strong since only when I woke up I would know how radical the surgery had been and if I still had my two lungs or only one left. I also knew that they were not going to be able to remove the entire tumor. Given its highly compromised location all around the pulmonary artery and aorta and the risk of death it implied touching that area, they would not be able to remove the tumor completely.
I asked myself many times if I was really determined to make that bet. I meditated a lot, spoke with my family, with my friends, with my doctors, I even visited a “chamana”. I browsed through it thoroughly until I cleared all my doubts. I knew what my reality was, my chances and the cards I had in my hands.
The day I visited the Chamana we worked deeply in all these issues. Shamanism connects with the ancestral and most primitive, with everything that modern society forgot. And in that universe it is said that each person has a power animal. An animal with similar characteristics as oneself acting as a protector and an amplifier of gifts and capabilities. My power animal, the White Dragon, visited us that afternoon and let me know that, if I decided to go through surgery, it would stay with me in the operating room, holding my hand and giving me support. That day of shamanism I cried a lot, tears that cleansed my soul, calming down my fears. It was one of those days in my life in which I deepest felt inner peace. I could feel the warmth of the sun at sunrise caressing my face and I felt connected to the whole universe in deep harmony. I could perceive the love surrounding me and I cried with joy and happiness. The decision was taken. I accepted to be operated. Everything was fine, everything was going to be all right.
>> Chapter 10: Pure magic
No comments:
Post a Comment